This article will explore how the Japanese drama Learning to Love challenges traditional gender expectations through the experiences of its protagonist, Ogawa. While the series centers on a taboo romance between Ogawa and a male host Kaoru, its deeper message exposes the pressures women face to conform to outdated ideals of the “perfect” woman such as being obedient, dependent, and self-sacrificing. Through Ogawa’s relationships and gradual self-liberation, the show redefines what independence and love can look like for modern women.
Ogawa's relationship with her mother and father was at best a tense one. Her father was very steadfast in his belief that he "owned" both Ogawa and her mother. He used his influence to obtain jobs for Ogawa, tried to arrange who she would marry, and even attempted to lock Ogawa in her room when she tried to move out of the family home and find her independence. We see that same treatment of Ogawa's mom through the drama. She's treated as just a homemaker and the father makes it very clear she should only speak when spoken to.
We also see two failed relationships for Ogawa throughout the drama. The first one we see is a relationship between Ogawa and her coworker that ends in Ogawa's coworker cheating on her. Her next romantic setback came in the form of her arranged fiance, Kawahara. He's a wealthy man working in finance with her father. Although not as traumatic due to Ogawa's indifference towards him, Kawahara also cheats on Ogawa. This is all done while him spending the earlier part of the series judging Ogawa for her relationship with Kaoru. Kawahara does take a turn towards the end of the series by acknowledging that both he and Kaoru, the host, have flaws, but in different moral ways.
Although the most "taboo" relationship, the most successful relationship in the drama is Ogawa's relationship with Kaoru. Despite his much younger age, livelihood as a host, and lack of formal education, Kaoru is the first man in the series we see treat Ogawa with kindness and respect. He shows himself to be better than the more educated men Ogawa was with previously. He supports her growth and works to overcome his own learning challenges, showing love rooted in equality rather than control.
By the end of the drama we see major growth from Ogawa. She successfully moves out of the family home into her own apartment and confesses her relationship with Kaoru publicly which results in consequences such as her losing her job. She's able to find a new job on her own without her father's help symbolizing true independence and freedom from societal and familial expectations.
